|
|
An Unauthorized, |
Dear Miss Wildacres: I used to think I had a pretty good grasp of poetic form, writing sonnets, sestinas, villanelles, etc. Then I arrived at Wildacres and two poets here—I'll call them "Janice" and "Phebe" (not their real names)—keep inventing these new poetic forms left and right. What, for example, is a parille? How about a stambouli? A gralvalene? Don't you think it's rude for these people to invent their own forms and then force us to listen to them at the dinner table? I sure wasn't raised like that. —Mad in Verse Dear Mad: Those aren't poetic forms, silly, they're mixed drinks. Pass the rum and Miss Wildacres will demonstrate. * * *
Dear Miss Wildacres: Although it seems that good table manners are rarely observed on this so-called "Magic Mountain" (yesterday at lunch "Gary" nearly started a food fight just because the baked beans were not "Boston" enough for him), I for one am trying to maintain a modicum of civilized behavior. However, some of the "food" here is, well, inedible. Is there a polite way of refusing turkey sausage? I don't want to be rude, but really, how do people eat that stuff? —Disgusted Diner
Dear Disgusted: Turkey sausage is a beloved, long-standing WA tradition. That said, Miss Wildacres realizes that the unaccustomed palate might be hesitant when it comes to "hockey pucks." Accept them graciously, and if you cannot bear to eat them, you may find other uses for them: as paperweights for your still-unfinished manuscript critiques, for instance. * * * Dear Miss Wildacres: On the first night of the workshop, our leader, a feisty blonde whom I'll call "Jodie Hell," drilled into our heads the Ten Commandments of Wildacres, cracking a six-foot-long bullwhip at every new stricture. "Jodie" especially emphasized Commandment Number III, or was it IX?: "Thou Shalt Not Fall In Love." Watching her wield that whip so expertly gave me a perverse thrill, I must admit. Miss Wildacres, what should I do? Please help me. I think I'm falling in love with "Jodie Hell." —Smitten on the MountainDear Smitten: Ah, yes. The golden curls, the hourly wardrobe changes, the seductive sound of a cracking whip—you're suffering from the same unrequited lust that's afflicted many WA writers. Miss Wildacres would suggest working through your grief via a passionate Gong Show skit with one of our many pseudo-Jodies, such as "Amy," "Audrey," or "Donna" (or all three, if you're into that sort of thing). * * * Dear Miss Wildacres: Why has nobody picked me to be in a Gong Show skit? I feel left out. —Bruce HochDear Bruce: Dude. It's only January. * * * Dear Miss Wildacres: I was assigned a roommate at random. At first "Jerry" seemed like a nice guy and all, but now I'm starting to have my doubts. At this morning's breakfast it was announced at that several boxes of wine were missing. I went back to the room and in "Jerry's" closet there were two empty boxes of Chablis, and he was passed out in bed, snoring. I don't want to feel like a narc, but should I narc? —Stone Cold SoberDear Sober: Something tells Miss Wildacres that you're either a) of the highest moral and ethical caliber, in which case you sure as sh*t shouldn't be here in the first place, or b) just pissed because he didn't share, in which case you'd be better served (pardon the pun) by sucking up to him and finding out where he hid the rest of it (at which point you'd extend Miss Wildacres a covert invitation to your room). * * * Dear Miss Wildacres: I just saw my "roommate" (not her real name) naked. What should I do? —Shocked on the MountainDear Shocked: Sorry, Miss Wildacres will get dressed. She thought you were into that sort of thing.
Here's this issue's Scribbler's Scrapbook: readings, awards, honors, and literary or life news of all sorts. WA Newbie Jules Riley reports that his poem "Waist Deep in Winter Water" (read at the 2007 student readings) was awarded the John Robert Doyle Prize in a competition sponsored by the Poetry Society of South Carolina.
Ann Tsao's poem "Cherry Blossoms" won 6th place in the Writer Digest's 76th Annual Writing Competition, Non-rhyming Poetry category. Two of Ann's other poems received honorable mentions: "Pasadena Encounter" and "Émigrés."
In November, Suzanne Carey participated in a poetry workshop in Corte Madera, California, conducted by her 2007 Wildacres workshop leader Doug Goetsch "and another favorite poet, Ellen Bass. I had a delightful Italian dinner with Doug, Ellen, and the workshop organizer afterward. Doug and I tried to describe the Gong Show to the other guests, but some things defy translation, even after a glass of bottle wine." Two Achers have recently received Pushcart Prize nominations: Amy Willoughby-Burle for her story "Stone Jesus in the Front Yard," published in The MacGuffin, and Will Donnelly for his story "F=d(mv)/dt," published in Hobart. Mary Hutchins Harris was a winner in the 2007 USC-SC Poetry Initiative Chapbook Contest with her manuscript A Tongue Full of Yeses, which will be published in October 2008. She also won First Place in Poetry and tied for First Place in Non-Fiction for the South Carolina Writers Workshop's Annual Carrie McCray Literary Awards. The non-fiction piece was revised and edited numerous times at Wildacres this past summer. Phebe Davidson will be reading at the SC Book Festival (February 22-24) to promote her new book, Fat Moon Rising. Click on the link to see the schedule. Leslie Wake's essay "Guitar Lady" (read at the 2007 student readings) won the $500 first-place prize in the Goody Two Shoes contest. Other news from Leslie: "I sold my house and am running away, er, moving away ... to Port Townsend, Washington, a Victorian coastal seaport where every other person is either a writer, an artist, or a musician ... and probably unemployed!" In December Umbra Films released Mountain Whippoorwill: Stories & Songs from the Mountains, Les and Susan Butchart's documentary about storyteller Elizabeth Rose. Shot at Wildacres during last summer's retreat, the Mountain Whippoorwill soundtrack features music composed and played by award-winning Scottish fiddler Leanne E. Smith and Luke Whisnant. "Thanks to Debbie Daniel," says Luke, "for loaning me her mandolin." And in another musical note: Luke Whisnant's acoustic duo See You Tuesday has its own YouTube channel now, complete with excerpts from SYT's music videos. To take a gander, click on SYT on YouTube.
Love you guys!
Previous Issue | Tunnel
Index | E-mail
the Editor | WA Homepage
|
|
Copyright © 2008, Wildacres Writers' Workshop. |