Another Topical Persistence Example

I explained the first example of topical persistence in some detail. I invite you to consider the following without that same kind of rich explanation.

Note, for your own information, that this process often reveals difficulties with the original text and results in more, rather than less, text. I leave it to you to discover for yourself why I make this observation here.

ABC Terminal Original

POWER OFF PROCEDURE

All module replacement procedures should be performed with the terminal disconnected from the mains electricity supply. After opening the terminal panels and entering supervisor mode the first step in each of the replacement procedures is to turn off the power at the orange power switch on the power supply module (0 = off, 1 = on) and then disconnect the mains lead from the connector panel at the rear of the terminal or from the wall receptacle. If the ABC is directly connected to an isolator switch, put this to the OFF position.

When you switch on the power after you have replaced the module, you will again be in supervisor mode, and the supervisor menu or indication will be displayed.

Major cohesion elements original paragraph:

Subject	Verb	Object
1. procedures all module replacement	should be performed with the terminal disconnected from the mains electricity supply
2. step the first in each of the replacement procedures After opening the terminal panels and entering supervisor mode	is to turn off and then disconnect	the power at the orange power switch on the power supply module (0 = off, 1 = on) lead the mains from the connector panel at the rear of the terminal or from the wall receptacle
3. "you" If the ABC	put is directly connected to an isolator switch,	this "x" to the OFF position.
4. you When you menu or light and the supervisor indication	will again be in supervisor mode switch on the power after you have replaced the module will be displayed
Cohesion Summary 3 (you) 1 (menu, indication, step, procedures) 3 (long prepositional phrase at 2)	2 (performed) 1 (displayed, switch, will again, is, put, connected, turn off, disconnect)	1 (power, lead, this)

ABC Terminal Revised

TURNING THE POWER OFF

You must always disconnect electrical power from the terminal before replacing any terminal modules.

Open the terminal panels and enter the supervisor mode.
Turn off the power at the orange power switch on the power supply module (0 = off, 1 = on).
See if the terminal is directly connected to a building power panel with a separate switch for the terminal. If there is a separate switch, turn it off.
Disconnect the terminal's power cord from the wall socket or from the connector panel at the rear of the terminal.

TURNING THE POWER BACK ON

Restore power to the terminal by reversing the procedure of turning power off.

Reconnect the terminal's power cord.
If the terminal is connected to a separate building power panel, turn that switch back on.
Turn on the terminal's power supply.
You will now be in supervisor mode. The terminal will display the supervisor menu or indicator light.

Major cohesion elements revised paragraph:

Subject	Verb	Object
1. You	must always disconnect from the terminal before replacing any terminal modules.	power electrical
2. "you"	open and enter	panels the terminal mode the supervisor
3 . "you"	turn off at the orange power switch on the power supply module (0 = off, 1 = on).	the power
4. "you" if the terminal If there "you"	see is directly connected to a building power panel with a separate switch for the terminal. is turn off.	switch a separate it
5. "you"	disconnect from the wall socket or from the connector panel at the rear of the terminal.	cord the terminal's power
6. "you".	restore to the terminal by reversing the procedure of turning power off.	power
7. "you"	reconnect	cord. the terminal's power
8. "you" If the terminal	turn back on is connected to a separate building power panel	that switch
9. "you"	turn on	supply the terminal's power
10. You 11. The terminal	will now be in supervisor mode will display	menu the supervisor or light. indicator
Cohesion Summary 10 (you) 2 (terminal)	2 (disconnect, connect, turn off, turn back on) 1 (open, enter, see, restore, reconnect, display) 4 in phrases (terminal) 2 in phrases (panel, power, module) 1 in phrases (switch, mode)	3. (switch, power) 2. (cord) 1 (panels, mode, supply, menu, light) 4 as modifiers (terminal) 2 as modifiers (power, supervisor) 1 as modifiers (electrical, indicator)

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